So I've been failing, in all my attempts. I can't seem to fast. =/
Yesterday I gave in and ate, I had a salad, and then some disgusting pasta along with some salsa and chips. The only good thing is that right after the pasta I went and took a shower were I purged. But, of course, I got paranoid about my mother hearing over the water and music so I didnt get more then half of it up. Such a bullshit thing, because I KNOW she cant hear it, but the paranoia got the best of me I'm afraid.
And then there was today, were I planned to fast, I was going about it very well, and someone mentioned chow mein, one of my weaknesses. And my stupid ass mentioned that I wanted some and it sounded yummy, even though I didnt really want some. Joel decided to pester me about if I wanted some, so enventually my friend Jason took us out of the way to some random chinese place to go get delicious chow mein that my brother(not really, but basically) Pat swore by. So I spent money on chow mein, and ate, maybe half of it and had Joel eat the rest. It wasnt all that good to be honest.
Not the good thing was we were, oh 6? miles away from where we were before, and Joel was saying the buses weren't running anymore.(community bus are that route ends on weekends at 6, its bs) As a result, we were going to have to walk, which was fine by me and Pat. I was completely down, because all the wonderful exercise to burn off those stupid calories I had just consumed. Pat wanted to because he likes walking, and smoking. And then, Bhard called the buses to check and it turns out that it still ran.
We still had to walk a bit to the bus stop, so I was glad about then, then there was walking to Joel's after. I decided to light up a cigarette to stop myself from freaking out over the food, which I was starting to do. We walked the, mile or so to the bus stop and the bus came only a few minutes after we got there. So we all ended up at Joel's. I'm laying down on his floor with cartoon network on and my back just starts to hurt like hell. I lay there whimpering in pain, I shouldnt be in this much pain, I was just at the chiropractor this morning! My head begins to hurt as well. Total hell.
Bit later Pat wants out of the house, I ask if we can go somewhere with caffeine. We walk to PW Market. I grab a monster, there are no low cal ones so I grab the loco moca one. Then we head to Pat's, which I'm all to happy about. More walking, more burning calories. I walked to the far store yesterday also. My mum picked me up a little bit after we got there though, so yeah.
My plan is to not eat for the rest of the night, Im confident I can do it. I'm just going to drink water whenever I feel like it and submerge myself into something. I have so much homework to finish tomorrow, and its not going to be fun, but hopefully after that I'll have a somewhat good day.
Oh, and today, my friend got held at knife point, robbed and then the guy cut his arm. The guy also smashed his girlfriend's phone on the pavement. Im so fucking pissed.
A few lovely pictures:
She's so perfect.
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Yesterday I gave in and ate, I had a salad, and then some disgusting pasta along with some salsa and chips. The only good thing is that right after the pasta I went and took a shower were I purged. But, of course, I got paranoid about my mother hearing over the water and music so I didnt get more then half of it up. Such a bullshit thing, because I KNOW she cant hear it, but the paranoia got the best of me I'm afraid.
And then there was today, were I planned to fast, I was going about it very well, and someone mentioned chow mein, one of my weaknesses. And my stupid ass mentioned that I wanted some and it sounded yummy, even though I didnt really want some. Joel decided to pester me about if I wanted some, so enventually my friend Jason took us out of the way to some random chinese place to go get delicious chow mein that my brother(not really, but basically) Pat swore by. So I spent money on chow mein, and ate, maybe half of it and had Joel eat the rest. It wasnt all that good to be honest.
Not the good thing was we were, oh 6? miles away from where we were before, and Joel was saying the buses weren't running anymore.(community bus are that route ends on weekends at 6, its bs) As a result, we were going to have to walk, which was fine by me and Pat. I was completely down, because all the wonderful exercise to burn off those stupid calories I had just consumed. Pat wanted to because he likes walking, and smoking. And then, Bhard called the buses to check and it turns out that it still ran.
We still had to walk a bit to the bus stop, so I was glad about then, then there was walking to Joel's after. I decided to light up a cigarette to stop myself from freaking out over the food, which I was starting to do. We walked the, mile or so to the bus stop and the bus came only a few minutes after we got there. So we all ended up at Joel's. I'm laying down on his floor with cartoon network on and my back just starts to hurt like hell. I lay there whimpering in pain, I shouldnt be in this much pain, I was just at the chiropractor this morning! My head begins to hurt as well. Total hell.
Bit later Pat wants out of the house, I ask if we can go somewhere with caffeine. We walk to PW Market. I grab a monster, there are no low cal ones so I grab the loco moca one. Then we head to Pat's, which I'm all to happy about. More walking, more burning calories. I walked to the far store yesterday also. My mum picked me up a little bit after we got there though, so yeah.
My plan is to not eat for the rest of the night, Im confident I can do it. I'm just going to drink water whenever I feel like it and submerge myself into something. I have so much homework to finish tomorrow, and its not going to be fun, but hopefully after that I'll have a somewhat good day.
Oh, and today, my friend got held at knife point, robbed and then the guy cut his arm. The guy also smashed his girlfriend's phone on the pavement. Im so fucking pissed.
A few lovely pictures:
She's so perfect.
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