Pain Pain Go Away

Bleh. So, yesterday I failed D: I ate, I shared a box of mac n cheese with Joel and had some pretzels. My stomach hurt so bad, and I felt so sick, I was tempted to make myself puke but the bathroom is next to his parents room, and I didn't want her to hear me. So I dealt with it and went home eventually, where I was tempted to puke, but decided not to and just laid in bed until I passed out.

I woke up hella late today, or well, got up, around 1:45pm. Im so lazy. I got dressed then went to Joel's where he and Tommy were. It wasn't a very good day. I was alone most of it while they were hyper focused on the computer. I swear they are obsessed sometimes. I pretty much sat on the couch occasionally getting them to talk, but they mainly talked to each other about the game. I left, taking Joel's long board, and skated to the park where I smoked and then headed back. I sat back in the room and watched them play then turned on the tv. I sat alone until Bhard came, and he sat down and watched Saw with me. Eventually Joel stopped obsessing on the game and sat down but still was very distant from me. It kinda, really hurt since he knows I've not had a very good week.

Gareth came over, which annoyed the fuck out of me, since Joel knows he gets on my nerves majorly. So I bit my lips and dealt with it. Joel left to make food and I followed him, in attempt to get some attention from him. I got some, but Bhard came in for a while, and then Gareth, and they came and went continually. He asked me if I wanted some and I told him I wasn't hungry, even though while making food my stomach growled kinda loudly. I got away with not eating anything, and I still havent eaten.

I got home like 3 hours ago, earlier today my back was hurting like hell, and now its a dull pain thats kinda sharp. Also it keeps feeling like my throat is closing up and my neck, back left side, is hurting hella bad. Its hard to move it too, and my left shoulder has a hot pain spreading around it. Baddd news. Bad bad bad news. I see my chiropractor on Tuesday, but I still have two more days of this. My back has been hurting alot since my last visit. Im scared I might of messed up my back more. Or my neck. :X

Also, I really want to sleep, I feel like I'd feel better if I did, but I can't. I have to wait for my parents to fall asleep so I can start on my homework thats due on Monday. I've been lazy about it, definitely not doing that next week.

Also, Joel just im'd me, and he's talking about his ex. I really don't want to talk about her, I hear enough about her from friends, and him. Plus she used to be my friend, kinda and we had a major falling out. Plus, he's been talking about her more recently, and she's been talking to him more, and she's attempted to get him to cheat on me before. Also she tried to get back with him right before me and him got together. It makes my stomach turn and me cringe whenever I hear about her now. I get sooo scared too. I feel like I'm being compared to her, at least I'm thinner then her. At least.

But yeah, its been a really shitty week, and I just want it over with. I want this pain to stop, its seriously soooo bad. Hopefully things will get better. I'm proud I've gone all today without eating. I'm trying for tomorrow as well. Also this morning I was 109.2lbs.